Alter Ego: A Poem About Piper, a.k.a. Manic Delusions

Alter Ego

Hey there siren, hey there again.
Without warning, how long has it been?

Hey there wild one, hey there storm.
Untamed whispers, in seamless form.

Hey there you, hey there Miss Thing.
Complete invasion, the chaos you bring.

She wears me out,
She breaks me down.
When Piper calls,
I come around.
She lures me in,
Without a sound.
I lust for her,
And we are bound.

Hey there lil nympho, hey there alright.
Pheromone syrup, smothered all night.

Hey there electricity, hey there alive.
Inexpressible hype, off the high dive.

Hey there obsession, hey there crave.
Euphoria spree, you won’t ever behave.

She wears me out,
She breaks me down.
When Piper calls,
I come around.
She lures me in,
Without a sound.
I lust for her,
And we are bound.

Hey there liberty, hey there Queen Bee.
Envied butterfly, perpetual and free.

Hey there persuasion, hey there yearn.
Thick addiction, never to learn.

Hey there enigma, hey there silhouette.
Delicious delusion, you’ll soon regret.

She wears me out,
She breaks me down.
When Piper calls,
I come around.
She lures me in,
Without a sound.
I lust for her,
And we are bound.

Piper

Swinging Out of Reality

My mind is a liar and it’s playing tricks on me. My moods have been hanging on the roller coaster again, while incorporating fleeting distortions of reality. What is this mess? My depression seems to still be present, but my agitation is very up and down, my crying spells randomly appear, I’m ultra sensitive, and have been very anxious. Also, the fact that I’m aware of the mild delusions I’ve experienced these last two days is, as far as I’m concerned, a good thing. During really bad manic episodes, I have experienced delusions and hallucinations that I sometimes could not recognize. That is not the case right now. Instead, I’m having what appear to be premonitions. Two things stand out in my premonition- the color yellow, and a dirty watch. I’ve yet to decipher the meaning of this, but hopefully either the vividness of these symbols will fade, or I will actually solve the puzzle.

For some of you this might sound crazy, for others, maybe comforting. My reality was further distorted yesterday when I pulled up to my house, it’s as if it wasn’t my house. Who’s house is this? I went inside and it’s as if I didn’t know my wife – but at the same time, I did know her. It was all very surreal. In lieu of my pressured speech, I tried to explain this to my wife, and because she had already been concerned with my rapidly changing moods during the weekend, she asked if I needed to go to the hospital. That dreaded word we all know. Hospital. I declined. I know I have been difficult to get along with lately due to my mood changes, so I understand and respect her suggestion. However, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist this week, so I can hold off until then. In the mean time, I am trying to keep busy so my mind doesn’t wander into who knows where, and so I can keep these moods at bay. Guess I’ll just have to see what’s in store for me next.

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